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[threnodeity]

rose lalonde

Rose Strider. Grimoire expert and future emissary to the old gods. Say what you wish.

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[threnodeity]

Become a mortician.

[Isn't your sister so helpful, Dave??]

[parodeity]

Grell is one, it doesn't seem that bad, but I'm more interested in stuff that's been dead for like, longer than that.

[ he will just respond like she's being serious even though he knows she ISN'T BEING HELPFUL, but. ]

So, regale me with your longset college plan again.

[threnodeity]

[His answer has her make a face of mock disgust. She's familiar with his love for both old and odd shit. More than anything, she wants him to find a profession he would actually work well with. Dave's a strange kid. He needs something that'll occupy and challenge him -- she can't picture him working an 8-5 desk job.]

It's hardly a plan.

[Just do it. That's Rose's motto.]

The short of it is that I'll double major in psychology and English -- two of the most useless degrees if you cannot claw your way to a Master's. The long of it... I've compiled it into a twenty page summary, if you really want to read it.

[parodeity]

Rose. C'mon. I obviously want to read the twenty page summary, though if one of the items in this summary isn't takin' over the world I'm disappointed in you.

[ he'll sip some more of his hot cocoa. ]

Do you have to like face other English and psych majors in honorable combat in order to like, get your masters. Please tell me you have to meet them in honorable combat. Or dishonorable combat, I'll take that one, too. We could get you like dual-wield katanas and you can mow down the unworthy?

[threnodeity]

[She snorts.]

The humanities partake in far nobler practices. Duels are for physicians and business majors. We prefer snake wrangling.

[parodeity]

[ she receives one raised eyebrow. ]

Rose. You tellin' me you want one-on-one time with a python? And here I thought you were more interested in somethin' else entirely.

[ shoot him BUT HE CAN'T NOT SAY THIS SHIT ]

[threnodeity]

[Boy. BOY.

She crosses her legs. And just. Smirks.]

Why can't I have both?

[parodeity]

[ look

look

he at least doesn't have that exact hangup thanks to not being raised by a hypermasculine ninja. and also. > dirk is gay. and dirk is like his fucking hero. so being able to swing either way isn't a big deal? although talking about this stuff with rose is always shooting himself in the foot because > TWIN SISTER, why does he do this to himself. ]

At the same time? Now we're talkin' about a scandal. Am I gonna have to help you sneak snakes in and out of the house, Rosie. My acting skills are probably equal to the challenge.

[threnodeity]

[Twin sister who is ready to raise this conversation to uncomfortably kinky heights, thank you very much. Dave really does invite this. It's his own fault for letting the vampiric innuendos in.]

How do you intend on smuggling my reptilian lovers, Davie? Do you really have a plan for that?

[parodeity]

[ honestly this is why he doesn't date HE SPENDS TOO MUCH TIME DISCUSSING KINKY INNUENDOS WITH HIS TWIN SISTER AND FOR SOME REASON MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT THAT IN A BOYFRIEND???? ]

Obviously. I'd be a piss-poor brother if I couldn't help you hook up. Clearly Snoop Dogg [ the iguana ] and I can pretend he's havin' playdates. Or we could pretend they're for Beast. Your monster cat could eat, like, anything.