threnodeity | ic inbox;

Like, one diary? Are we doin' a crazy dream exchange diary. I hallucinate and lovingly write down the deets in pink glitter gel pen and sign the damn thing with twenty hearts and smiley faces and slide it under your pillow and you write all over my hallucinations with meticulous breakdowns of my psyche and notes on the logical structure of my write ups and then there's forty pages on one hallucination from you, sporadically sprinkled with wizardfic, boiling down to "fancy cat funeral"?

[ rose is comforted by a clearcut logical plan.

dave is comforted by absurdity. ]

[ honestly this is why he doesn't date HE SPENDS TOO MUCH TIME DISCUSSING KINKY INNUENDOS WITH HIS TWIN SISTER AND FOR SOME REASON MOST PEOPLE DON'T WANT THAT IN A BOYFRIEND???? ]

Obviously. I'd be a piss-poor brother if I couldn't help you hook up. Clearly Snoop Dogg [ the iguana ] and I can pretend he's havin' playdates. Or we could pretend they're for Beast. Your monster cat could eat, like, anything.

they also eject their organs like poison or some shit at enemies
thats badass not squishy
i mean i guess the ejections are squishy
but in a badass manner thanks much

i cannot fucking wait for the day you fall for someone

It sounds to me as though you missed the emphasis he placed on 'scamming.'

theyre damns waitin to break
i mean dams but damns works too
autocorrect knows i use damn way more lol
then the water will like
splOOOOOSH
all down the valley way of finally talkin to their objects of affection abt said affections

no clue
not sure if there is one
youd have to ask those cute twins that posted it on the creepy network
im sure u could technically be like
i wanna take my date to mcds for some grand macs

[ just past midnight, jade tosses a text rose's way. ]

:)
i guess you knew about the mixtape?
or maybe you did not!
either way, it is technically "tomorrow" so i am coming over
hoooooooooooooowever, i would like to ask that i have some private time with dave for a bit!
i want to sort this out with him first, rose
aaaaaaaand
thank you for all the fun at the planetarium <3
i am feeling kind of sentimental so i want to tell you i love you and that you are my best friend no matter happens!!!!!!!!

i played myself and valentines day is in 2 days
and i did not consider this until like
right the fuck now

[ left in rose's room. a plush cat with a heart on it's butt, a box of her favorite candy, and a card covered in lisa frank leopard stickers. inside the card:

happy vday bb sis
i got a heart collar for ur beast but he uh
was lookin ready to eat me if i tried so
u may have better luck if u want to put it on him <3

there is indeed a well-sized pink cat collar with dangly pink/red/white hearts all over, very jingly. rose will note both of roxy's cats wearing similar collars. will rose make beast suffer the same fate. ]

[ when rose returns from school, she'll find a bag placed on her windowsill with her name on it. inside the bag is a card signed with jade's name. there's also a bag of candy and a bottle of perfume - no expense wasted, clearly. ]

[And there it is, the signal she'd been waiting for. Rose shoots off one final text before she gets up from her bed:]

If only it were so long. Alas, I'll have to resort to an alternative method that's somewhat less fairy tale-esque.

[So saying, her window pops open. Rose leans on the sill with a grin.]

Would you prefer me to let you in, or would you like to climb up?

[It makes sense. He prefers to say 'fuck this shit i'm out,' Rose prefers to say 'fuck off.']

I'll be providing fifty pages for your sass. My wizardfic is solely for my enjoyment. You don't deserve that privilege just yet.

Who's to say I haven't?

Love is a scam.

McDonalds is a little too classy, don't you think? I'd have to, gasp! Dress up for such an outing.

[Jade and Dave have been dancing around the issue for a while -- though Dave was admittedly the one doing much of the pussyfooting. It was frustrating to watch but she knew it wasn't her battle to pick. That was up to her twin. After all this time, there's only one thing she can say:]

Of course. I feel the same. Birds of a feather must stick together.
I only ask that you do be gentle with him, Jade. He's very sweet on you.

Don't tell me you're getting cold feet, D. Strider.

Vehement as ever, fedoraguy43.

Coming up!!!

[ she's an old hand at this, rose. she's got this. jade spends half her life sneaking into the strider household, even though the strider parents are probably well aware of whenever she comes over. thank god she hasn't been ratted out to her own parents (yet?).

as such, it's a pretty practiced motion for her to shimmy up the nearest tree, slip over to the windowsill and dip in. jade's so good at this activity that she barely makes a noise. the bag slung over her shoulder, however, does make a little "thunk" as she deposits it onto rose's bed. ]

Easier than a slice of pie. [ that's not... the actual saying, jade. ] Sorry, I probably should have said I was coming over earlier, buuuuut. I thought maybe it would be nicer to apologize in person! So. I'm really sorry, Rose, I've been going bananas from all the crap going on.

[ dave really is the baby of the family, isn't he. jade quirks a little smile. ]

i dont think i could ever purposely hurt him, rose
but if i ever do, i want you to be the one to tell me
because i bet you would kick my butt anyway :p

i know ur being sassy but the mcds near like freshens puts on the gd ritz
like they got the tall chairs n tables cafe area
and one of those touchscreen soda fountains
where u can put cherry in ur sprite
and their playplace looks so clean u could eat in there
you could drop ur whole hamburger on the slide
spill the lettuce n pickles all over
patty falls ketchup side down
and still
eat
it
like thats the fanciest restaurant in town

[ rose gets a card + bracelet from her younger brother today, shoved at her with probably teasing. there's also some flowers since > flower shop employee.

never speak of this ever rose ]

You say that like I would seriously mind fifty pages of nonsense.

[ but. ]

So now you know what I meant by it felt real.

the fact you havent told me about it
come on i would have to rate at LEAST that
what is even the point of having shared a womb if i dont get gossip perks

oh no
i mean
i just didnt like
make a plan
for if she agreed to go out with me
as to what id do
on the looming romantic holiday i forgot about

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